Rick Dyer is insisting I write an apology to all those I caused problems for, so here it goes…

  • I am sorry to my First Grade teacher, you stuck your finger in my face and I was hungry…I know, its no excuse.
  • I’m sorry to my ex-wife, never meant to leave the toilette seat up. It was late. My whole, “look before you sit comment” was out of line.
  • To Mr. Nyguen, I am so sorry, I ate more in worth than I paid for when you were running the Chinese Buffet on the Circle. It really was delicious though.
  • I’m sorry to the Dunkin Donuts clerk I asked for a replacement coffee, it was silly of me to think that “light and sweet” didn’t mean 75% cream and 14 sugars.
  • I’m sorry for the McDonalds drive thru incident, it was silly to me think that hamburgers should actually have the patties in them.
  • I’m so sorry to Linda Newton-Perry, it was wrong for me to compare you to FBFB, Dyer and Issleb, you are at least consistent with your storylines in your hoaxes.
  • I’m so so sorry to Musky Allen, when I sent you that toothpaste bro, I realized I shouldn’t have sent you Crest. I should have sent you Preparation H. The soap on a rope I felt was appropriate given the fact with your fine relations with law enforcement.
  • I apologize to Rick for calling you and Issleb, “Manure salesmen, with mouthfuls of samples.” That was improper English, it should have been “Manure salesmen with a mouthful of samples.”
  • I’m sorry to FBFB, I forgot to watch the videos you were authenticating without my regulation, retro 3-D glasses, after consuming the mandatory required amount of vodka. It DOES make all the difference.
  • I’m so so very sorry to FBFB, Dyer and Issleb, never meant for you to ride a bicycle backwards, I mean with all the back pedaling you’re doing now.

There Rick, I’ve apologized.


Till Next Time,