Okay folks, as we end the year 2012 it is time for my usual year end wit to come about.

As we know thanks to the Mayan Calendar, we all know life is supposed end as we know it by 12/21/12.

mayans-2012

Guess what…it is!!!  The Scholars misinterpreted what the prediction said. See the scholars once thought it meant the universe was going to end because of the reference to the original Mayan song, “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.”

The prediction said the Twinkle would end by 12/21/12.

What they didn’t realize was that the Mayan letter “L” actually was an “I”. The song was actually supposed to be, “Twinkie, Twinkie, Little Star.”

The prediction would be the Twinkie would end by 12/21/12.

Mystery Solved!

By December 21st this year we will no longer have Twinkies, Ho-Ho’s, Ding Dongs or Donettes on the shelf.

For all you doomsday survivalist’s, the fine baking products with ten year shelf lives will no longer be in supply..so stock up while you still can!!!

 

But yet an even more insidious plot has been discovered.

Yes the culprits behind the demise of the failure of baking giant Hostess has been revealed…. The Keebler Elves strike again!

 keebler

Ernie, the evil plotter of the Hostess downfall.

Those innocent looking, yet sinister Keebler elves who’ve spelled the demise of the Smurfs in the late 80’s. Even though by definition, the Smurfs were not elves, they posed an early threat to the Keebler Collective and thanks to there campaign of slander, all but eradicated the Smurfs presence from the air waves with the exception of some small syndicated television markets and a movie which bombed at the box office.

But much earlier came the reduction of Christmas Elves to only to non-baking positions, hence why they work for slave wages at the North Pole. Ever wonder why Santa wears red??? (Hint: Commissar Claus!)

 

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                          The Keebler Elves’ past victims.

Think about it people, it Chips Deluxe and Wheatables along with Fudge Stripes and Town House Crackers we are left with unless Lil Debbie can hold out…

 

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Our last, best hope for cheap baked products!

Till Next Time…

Squatch-D

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